I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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