Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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