Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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