Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!