i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude