I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
