Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Randomize
