Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it's like heaven, but drunker
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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