Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
smell my finger.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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