i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
NoShamevember. You game?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
