my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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