Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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