i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
