you would pick up someone in the library
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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