Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
