Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
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At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
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No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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