dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
