Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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