we have officially lost it.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
