i think my tv is drunk
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
