we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
