i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
