omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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