Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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