Do you still have your period?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize