Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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