What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
