You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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