I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
