I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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