So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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