my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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