it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
