Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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