she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
