At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
