how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
