just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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