Can i not drive my cunt home
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize