I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
this will be a night to untag.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
