yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
