you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
