I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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