WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The beer is more important than you right now.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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