I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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