Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
