i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
