Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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