I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
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