you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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