I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
