There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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