even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
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His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
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how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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