took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
