I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
