she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I am available for nakedness
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
