Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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