Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
