So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
