we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
