Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Randomize
