I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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