At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
