Me. At least after what I've been through.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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