Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
