Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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