Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
