One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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